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Clan War: Starting the War/Transcript

< Clan War: Starting the War

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Ellie: Explosive alone won't do it - we'll need each clan's family emblem. Check my junk...yard; I'm purdy sure I got some old emblems lyin' around

(Upon collecting Hodunk emblem)

Ellie: Hodunks chose that as their emblem 'cause they love skinny chicks. And they love skinny chicks 'cause they's pussies.

(Upon collecting Zaford emblem)

Ellie: Zafords chose the clover as their emblem for good luck. Which'll be pret-ty damn ironic once we're done with 'em.

Moxxi: Ellie, sweetheart - when are you gonna come back to Sanctuary? I know you're angry, I'm not going to apologize for what I said, but... it's not safe out there. Both of those dumbass families think the other started their clan feud - neither of them knows the war actually started thanks to a big misunderstanding regarding a bar tab and a stock car race. Long story - maybe I'll tell you sometime. The point is, the truce between the Zafords and the Hodunks can only last so long - sooner or later war will break out again, and you do not want to be in the middle of it. Trust me, sugar - you don't have the constitution for it. But hey - if you'd prefer to live near a bunch of bandits who want you dead, rather than stay with your mother who, God forbid, wants you to care about your appearance, that's your decision to make. But it's the wrong one. Just come back, honey.

Ellie: That there is the third-largest tire on Pandora - the Hodunks pride and joy. They'll be awful disappointed to see it blowed the heck up.

(After rigging tire to explode)

Ellie: I'd back up, cause this is gonna be awesome!

(After tire explodes)

Ellie: Now slap that Zaford emblem down!

Jimbo Hodunk: (furious, unintelligible old coot gibberish)

Tector Hodunk: Papa Jimbo sees that disgustin' Zaford emblem, and accepts your challenge, Mick Zaford! The seas will run green with Zaford blood!

Mick Zaford: Oi - rednecks! I hear you're spreadin' lies about the Zaford-Hodunk war again. Scarin' yer little kids with stories about grandma-eatin'boogeymen and the like. Well lemme give ya the only bit of education you backbirthed teatsuckers will ever hear: your family started da feud. Yer Great Grandpap lyle hodunk stole two Zaford children and drowned 'em in a creekbed. Just fer fun. We'll honor the truce as long as you hill-bills do, but never forget the Hodunks fired the first shot in this war. And never doubt that the Zafords will fire the last.

Ellie: You're near the Holy Spirits. That's the Zaford family base of operations. Boy oh boy, are they gonna be pissed when they see what we got in store for 'em

Ellie: There's one real easy way to piss of a Zaford: destroy their liquor. Just put those charges on the distillery and start runnin'!

Ellie: I'd back up, cuase this is gonna be awesome!

Ellie: Now all we gotta do is play both sides agaonst the middle and see who comes out on top. Should be fun!

(Upon placing Hodunk emblem)

Mick Zaford: What's goin' on out there? Piss on me eyes! Is that the Hodunk emblem I see? Dem bastards broke the truce! You rednecks will regret messin' with Mick Zaford!

Ellie: Hehehe. He sounds pissed. I bet he's already got a plan to strike back against the Hodunks, and he'll need the help of somebody like you.

Mick Zaford: I'm calling all gun-hands ta help me stamp out the Hodunks! I pay in blood, booze and bullets! Come to the Holy Spirits bar!

(Upon responding to Zafords call)

Mick Zaford: Ah, a new recruit - welcome to the Zaford family. Lemme getcha a drink.

Mick Zaford: Dammit - it's dry! Those Hodunks destroyed my distillery! That's IT! The truce is OFF! You! Vault Hunter! Let's talk.

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