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Cleaning Up the Berg/Transcript

< Cleaning Up the Berg

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Entering the Southern Shelf

Claptrap: This way!

Claptrap: Keep your wits about you, minion -- this glacier’s run by a bandit named Captain Flynt. The jerk kept me as his torture plaything for a few months. We played games like ‘dodge the blowtorch’, and ‘don’t get dunked into the pool of acid.’ I was really good at the first one.

Handsome Jack: Attention, people of Pandora! Handsome Jack here, offering a million bucks to whomever brings me the head of the Vault Hunter who just arrived in Liar’s Berg. Oh, and I’m still offering a reward for Roland, the mass-murdering leader of the Crimson Raiders. Good hunting, bandits!

Flynt: A million bucks?! Alright, boys -- this is Captain Flynt! I want you to find that Vault Hunter and bring ‘em to me! NOW!

(Entering Liar’s Berg)

Claptrap: Hey, Hammerlock!

Hammerlock: Spectacular -- first Captain Flynt’s bandits attack, then Claptrap shows up! I must have horrifyingly cruel to puppies in a previous life to deserve this kind of treatment. I say, Vault Hunter -- could you kill Flynt’s men for me?

Flynt: Got a proposition for ya, Vault Hunter. You give up, we’ll just shoot ya in the head. It’ll be quick, clean, and a hell of a lot less painful than what Handsome Jack’ll do to ya.

Flynt: What is WRONG with you boys?! Just kill that skaglick so’s we can get our reward!

Claptrap: Oh no – BULLYMONGS!

(Vault Hunter kills all Bullymongs and Flynt’s men)

Flynt: DAMMIT! This ain’t over, grinder.

Claptrap: Hey, Hammerlock! Since my minion just saved your town, you wanna do your bestie Claptrap a favour and repair my eye?!

Hammerlock: Yes, I suppose I am in your debt now, aren’t I? Come to my shack, and I shall restore Claptrap’s sight. First, I shall shut off the electrical fence for you.

Hammerlock: Please stay back, Vault Hunter – let Claptrap go first.

Claptrap: I knew Hammerlock would come around eventually. Me and him are like two peas in a pod! Two bullets in a mag! Two cannibal midgets in a fat guy’s ribcage!

(Clatrap is electrocuted by the electric fence and temporarily incapacitated)

Hammerlock: Apologies, but when Claptrap speaks. I feel my brain cells committing suicide, one by one. I shall be out directly.

Hammerlock: A pleasure to meet you, Vault Hunter. I am Sir Hammerlock –

(Title card for Sir Hammerlock: Hunter. Scholar. Gentleman.)

Hammerlock: At your service.

Hammerlock: I came out here to research the Bullymongs for my almanac, but Captain Flynt’s men trapped me on this glacier. Many thanks for disposing of them, by the way -- to survive a direct run-in with Handsome Jack AND defeat Captain Flynt’s bandits? Unheard of! I’m headed to Sanctuary, myself -- from what I hear, the Crimson Raiders there could use a hero like you.

Hammerlock: Now, if you could hand me the robot’s eye, please.

(Hammerlock puts Claptrap’s eye into its socket and screws it clockwise several times, finally finishing the repair by hammering his fist onto the eye)

Hammerlock: Now, I need only connect this to this, and…

Hammerlock: That should do it!

Claptrap: Ha-HA! I am ALIIIIIVE!

Hammerlock: Oh, dear. He’s talking again.

Claptrap: Minion! Now I’ve got my eyesight back -- and you’re far uglier than I remembered! Time to join up with the Crimson Raiders in Sanctuary! This glacier’s full of nothing but murderers or jerkbags, like that Hammerlock dude!

Hammerlock: I’m standing right here, dude.

Hammerlock: Now that Liar’s Berg is clear, I might as well turn on the main power -- this town’s full of things that may be of use to a go-getting slayer of men like yourself.

Claptrap: Minion, roll out!

Hammerlock: I see our fearless leader Jack is looking for you. Charming fellow, isn’t he? Spouts drivel about bringing peace to the frontier, then shoots unarmed men, women and children like it was going out of style. Bah – I’m spouting exposition again, aren’t I? Apologies!

(Hammerlock turns on the generator for the town’s power)

Hammerlock: Ah – there you are.

Hammerlock: Come on -- work, curse you! Ah, fecal matter -- the bounty board’s broken. The resistance must have disconnected it before they left for Sanctuary. I’d planned to post some jobs for you. Ah well – just speak to me instead!

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