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Ell in Shining Armor/Transcript

< Ell in Shining Armor

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Ellie: I got a problem -- I'm supposed to be guardin' this here town, but I aon't got any armor. Could you head to the forest and find me somethin' that'll protect all this beautiful girth?

(reaching house)

Ellie: This here's where the militia used to forge their armor, before the Sorceror turned 'em all into skelegons. They oughtta have somethin' in my size around here.

(seeing armor)

Ellie: Damn. Looks like somebody hid the armor up in that tree there. Might wanna give the tree a lil' love tap so it'll drop the goods.

(metal bikini drops from the tree)

Ellie: That ain't armor. Have you seen me? That little scrap wouldn't even cover half a tit. 'Sides, it ain't like the bad guys are only gonna aim for my saucy bits. Find me somethin' with some more heft to it.

(finding armor)

Ellie: Now THAT's what we're talkin' about. Bulky, protective, and one hunnert percent bad-ass.

Tiny Tina: You gotta choice, my hos. Do you bring Ellie the bulky armor, or do you grab the more boobilicious metal bikini for her?

(grabbing armor) Ellie: That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! Bring that hot stuff back here. I'm gonna look so damn cool --

(grabbing metal bikini) Ellie: You wanted the skimpy suit, huh? I guess I could make an eyepatch out of it, or... somethin'.

(returning to Ellie)

Ellie (in armor): Feminism, baby! Woo woo! Hot damn, do I look good.

Ellie (in metal bikini): This ain't gonna protect me for balls, but... feeling pretty hot right now, ain't gonna lie.

(after quest is turned in)

Ellie: (in metal bikini): Could really use a sweater.

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