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(to do: missing quotes from Aurelia)
Tassiter: Hello, idiot. One of my lackeys had an idea, which I've decided to improve. I need you to collect a laser drill, a control interface, and a sensor array. Don't ask why. Just accept that I'm smarter than you and I know what I'm doing.
Tassiter: Head to the Veins of Helios to get started.
(Pick up laser)
Tassiter: Good. That laser drill will do... something, I'm told.
(Pick up cranial interface)
Tassiter: That cranial interface will allow these robots to think -- a power that not everyone in this conversation possesses. Find one.
(Pick up sensor array)
Tassiter: You've found a sensor array. I'd explain what it does, but every breath I expend talking to you is one I could have used to spit at my secretary.
(Pick up last piece)
Tassiter: You will now scan those parts into the bot fabrication machine. It's in Central Maintenance.
(Scan all parts)
Tassiter: You've scanned everything. Now, assemble the bot. It's time for an upgrade.
Tassiter: You follow orders unthinkingly. I like that in a worker.
Tassiter: There's an infested Dahl soldier in a nearby quarantine zone. Lead my new bot to the soldier, then let it do what it does best. Though you may be tempted, do not die on the way.
CL4P-L3K: I DISLIKE THINGS!
- Athena (if present): It's attacking us!
- Wilhelm (if present): It's insane!
- Nisha (if present): The bot's trying to kill me!
- Claptrap (if present): It's trying to kill me!
- Jack2 (if present): Whoah, they're ATTACKING me!
- Aurelia (if present): They seem to be attacking me!
Tassiter: And? Just keep it protected on its way to the soldier. I don't care how many holes it blows in you, DO NOT DESTROY IT!
Tassiter: My bot will kill the infected Dahl soldier, and in so doing keep investor confidence high. I tell you this only so I can enjoy the dull drone of your brain cells as they try to comprehend the number of syllables I'm using.
- Athena (if present): You are very rude.
- Wilhelm (if present): Dick. Anybody wanna pay me a quarter to kill that guy?
- Nisha (if present): Cool. I'm going to murder you if I get the chance, just so you know.
- Claptrap (if present): I'd be sad, but I'm already used to this kind of treatment.
- Jack2 (if present): God, I hope Jack gets you fired, or like... yells at you, or something.
- Aurelia (if present): Oh, look! He's trying to be condescending. Precious.
CL4P-L3K: IF YOU LIKE SOMETHING I DO NOT, YOU ARE STUPID!
CL4P-L3K: AFTER THIS I WILL POST MEAN-SPIRITED COMMENTS ON ECHONET ARTICLES!
CL4P-L3K: EVERYTHING SUCKS! EVERYTHING MUST BE ERADICATED!
(CL4P-L3K takes damage)
Tassiter: Protect the prototype. That robot is like a child to me, except I care about it!
Tassiter: Be careful with the robot!
Tassiter: That robot must remain standing!
Tassiter: Careful! That robot is worth more than the love your parents pretend to have for you!
Tassiter: There's the Dahl soldier -- just let my bot kill it.
(Vault Hunter killed Eghood)
Tassiter: You couldn't bear to NOT shoot something to death, could you? Pathetic.
(CL4P-L3K killed Eghood)
Tassiter: Good. Now restrain him in that area so my men can pick him up later.
CL4P-L3K: ERADICATE EVERYTHING. ERADICATE HYPERION. ERADICATE HAROLD TASSITER.
Tassiter: I'm sure that's patchable.
CL4P-L3K: ERADICATE VAULT HUNTERS!
- Athena (if present): Hell with it, I'm destroying this thing.
- Wilhelm (if present): Alright, that's it. Much as I like your upgrades, you're going to robot hell.
- Nisha (if present): Screw it -- time to die, robot.
- Claptrap (if present): I have had ENOUGH of your sass, mister!
- Jack2 (if present): You know what?! I'm sick of your crap!
- Aurelia (if present): (missing)
CL4P-L3K: NOT IMPRESSED!
Tassiter: I'm brilliant! Jack's designs are nothing compared to mine. Once I get the code monkeys to tweak its friend-or-foe mechanisms, it'll be perfect.
Tassiter: You IDIOTS! I, I... I'm legally required to pay you for helping me build those in the first place. So, please return to the bounty board for your... reward.
Tassiter: Here's your reward. Choke on it.