The Experimentation Greeter is a loader NPC in the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve. It occupies a desk near the entrance to the Observation Wing of the testing facility, but does not appear to serve any significant purpose. The location of this robot suggests it was used to help direct human experiments as they entered the building.
- "All personnel are reminded not to speak to, or make eye contact with potential test subjects. Any Hyperion soldier found guilty of experiencing sympathy, will be forced to switch places with the test subjects."
- "While waiting to be experimented upon, consider the majesty of the creatures surrounding you. Do not consider the fact that, barring any major accidents in the next few minutes, they will likely outlive you."
- "Do not push, shove, scream, talk or cry in line. All volunteers will be seen in the order they arrived."
- "Do NOT touch the Eridium vats unless you have alerted a Hyperion technician first, preferably one with a camera."
- "Attention open quotes volunteers closed quotes; following your experiment you will receive an open quotes gift closed quotes. The gift is: open quotes freedom closed quotes."
- "Thank you for open quotes volunteering closed quotes as a test subject at Hyperion Preserve. Do not attempt to leave the grounds."
- "Please stay within the red lines. If the red lines have worn away, use your best guess."
- "Feeding time is scheduled for noon every day, or whenever a zookeeper falls into a holding cell."
- "Eridium injections may cause side effects such as gigantism, insanity, and excess limb syndrome."
- "If you hear screaming coming from the research labs, stop listening so hard."
- "Volunteers are reminded to maintain a distance of twenty meters from the animal holding cells. Ignore this warning if you are in the open quotes human bait closed quotes testing group."
- The Experimentation Greeter is positioned in front of a wall storage unit containing one of the ECHO recorders needed for the mission Doctor's Orders.