Face McShooty stands on a ledge screaming hysterically for someone to shoot him in the face. He offers the mission Shoot This Guy in the Face that requires him to be shot in the face.
- SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! IN THE FAAAAAAAACE! DO IT! SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! FACE FACEFACEFACEFACE! NOW! BULLETS IN THE FACE! WANT EM! NEED EM! GIMMEGIMMEGIMME! AT THE SOUND OF THE BELL IT WILL BE FACESHOOTING O'CLOCK! BONGGGGG! KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE SHOOT ME IN THE FACE! END OF JOKE! I'M GONNA SING A SONG! SHOOT ME AT THE END OF IT! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA! BONG!! ...I NOTICE YOU HAVEN'T SHOT ME IN THE FACE! CURIOUS AS TO WHY! Maybe you're weighing the moral pros and cons but let me assure you that OH MY GOD SHOOT ME IN THE GODDAMNED FACE!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?!
- IN THE FACE! NOT SO COMPLEX! NEED IT! WANT IT NEED IT HAVE TO HAVE IT! FACESHOT! BOOM! BRAINS EVERYWHERE! Not the KNEE, not the ARM, not the SPINE - FACE! IT HAS TO HAPPEN! HNNNNG! FACEY FACEY FACE FACE! TIRED OF WAITING! NO MORE WAITING! NEED A FACE SHOT! BOOM! SQUISH! YAY!
When shot elsewhere:
- I SAID IN THE FACE!
- WASN'T MY FACE!
- WAS I NOT BEING CLEAR - FACE!
- BULLETS! FACE! NOT ASKING MUCH!
- DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A FACE IS!?
- MY FACE! THE THING SHOUTING AT YOU - SHOOT IT!
- I MAY BE CRAZY, BUT AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT A GODDAMNED FACE IS - SHOOT ME IN IT!
When shot in the face:
- THANK YOU!
- Shooting Face McShooty in the face will unlock the achievement Well That Was Easy.
- Face McShooty will occasionally reappear after the completion of Shoot This Guy In The Face, albeit with a modified head model. 
- In a Reddit AMA, writer Anthony Burch said his inspiration for creating this character was the "Close Range" video on The Onion, featuring a (fictional) video game in which the only gameplay is shooting people in their faces.