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Hot Head/Transcript

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(Accept mission)

Jack: There's an employee up here named Dean -- dude's got some anger problems and I'd bet the moon douchebags aren't improving that. I locked his ass in a closet somewhere around here. Find him, and calm him down, will ya, before he decides to join the Lost Legion or something.


(Approaching closet)

Dean: RRRRRGH! HATE! HATE! HAAATE!


(Open door)

Dean: HERE'S A LIST OF THINGS I DON'T LIKE! PEOPLE! MOVIES! KISSING! BEING STUCK IN THIS CLOSET!

Dean: I COMPLAIN ABOUT CASTING DECISIONS FOR MOVIES I HAVEN'T SEEN YET!

Jack: Just talk to him, see if you can get him to calm down.


(Talking)

Dean: WHEN I'M NOT GOOD AT VIDEOGAMES I TAKE OUT MY ANGER ON PEOPLE AROUND ME!

Dean: I AM EASILY UPSET!

Dean: IF WE ARE PLAYING A BOARD GAME AND YOU START WINNING I WILL FRIGGIN' CUT YOU!

  • Athena (if present): Jack wants you to calm down.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Shut up already.
  • Nisha (if present): Cool your jets, kid.
  • Claptrap (if present): Please lower your anger rating by at least fifty percent!
  • Jack2 (if present): Take it down a peg, maybe?
  • Aurelia (if present): Calm thyself, little boy.

Dean: JACK IS REALLY GOOD LOOKING AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL LESS GOOD LOOKING AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY!

Jack: Pff, I dunno. There's gotta be some way to cool that guy off.

Dean: NO! JACK LEFT ME HERE AND DOESN'T PAY VERY WELL, AND NOW YOU WILL SUFFER MY VERBAL WRATH!

Dean: I HATE BOOKS!

Dean: I DON'T LIKE MOST THINGS!

Dean: IF SOMEONE LIKES SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE I WANT TO DROPKICK THEIR ASPIRATIONS!

Dean: IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE SOMETHING I LIKE I WANT TO PUNCH THEIR EXTENDED FAMILY!

Dean: RRRRRGH! HATE! HATE! HAAATE!

Dean: SO ANGRY! SO, SO, SO, SO ANGRY!


(Freezing Dean)

Dean: Don't worry, I'm cool.


(Turn in)

Dean: Don't worry, I'm cool.

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