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Let's Build a Robot Army/Transcript

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(to do: a few missing quotes for several player characters)

(Accept Mission)

Lilith: Jack? Lilith here. Good news is we found an old Dahl robot factory, abandoned for the most part! We'll ECHO the Vault Hunter. Bad news is the scavs living there do NOT like us!

Jack: Hey, that's awesome! Apart from the you-being-shot-at part, of course. Great work!

Roland: Uh, thanks! We'll be in touch once we've dealt with these guys -- it's gonna be harder than it sounds!

Jack: Yello? This thing working? Vault Hunter, you gotta get that factory's production line running again.

Skipper: I know the facility he's talking about -- I can help you navigate it. First you'll need to catch a train.


(True Vault Hunter Mode)

Tiny Tina: You really remember all the stuff these people said to you, word for word?

Athena: I have a good memory.

Tiny Tina: What's the seventeenth thing Jack says in your story?

Athena: "She leads these jackasses, I think. First person to shoot her in the head gets a high five and a turbomansion."

Tiny Tina: Oh whaaaaat I totally don't remember if you're right or not but still whaaaat

(End True Vault Hunter Mode)


(Arrive at Lunar Junction in Triton Flats)

Skipper: This station hasn't been fully operational in a long time, but I can get it running again. There'll be a console around here somewhere -- get me to it and I'll do the rest.


(Enter Train Station)

Skipper: I've been thinking -- now I'm free of... him, the future's so iridescently bright. A new life betokens a new name. Felicity. It means happiness. From now on -- I'm Felicity.

  • Athena (if present): Um, sure -- Felicity.
  • Wilhelm (if present): (grunt)
  • Nisha (if present): Well... whatever.
  • Claptrap (if present): Processed and understood, Felicity!
  • Jack2 (if present): Yeah. Sure. Go for it.
  • Aurelia (if present): (missing)


(Approach console)

Felicity: Okay, plug me in. I'll call the train -- it might take a few minutes.

DAHL Systems: Ten-HUT! Train incoming!

Jack: Okay, let's check out the factory and get things moving ASAP -- we need mucho robot bodies if we're going to retake Helios and save the day and stuff. Capiche?


(Train arrives)

Felicity: Here we are. All aboard!


(Enter Titan Industrial Facility)

Jack: So, this is where we're gonna build the super-awesome robot army? Honestly? I'm a little, uh, disappointed.

Felicity: Aren't you the naysayer! Evidently this place became a regular ghost-town when Dahl packed up and left after the Crackening. But we just need to get to the powersuit section and get things up and running again.


(Engage torks)

Felicity: Ugh. Torks.

Felicity: This place could have a serious tork infestation -- hope they've not destroyed any key systems in there. Still, you know how to handle yourself, which is something.


(Use door)

Felicity: The door's jammed -- maybe some kind of manual override. We need another way in. Find a console and hook me up to it. I bet I can do something about this!


(Use console)

Felicity: Perfect. Just give me a moment to look around -- there's barely any power running through this.

Felicity: Ta-DAAAA! More nasties.

Claptrap (if present): Thanks! From one artificial intelligence to another, I appreciate your respect and OH GOD, YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL! CAN WE GET ROBOT MARRIED?


(Enter corridor)

Felicity: These filthy wire-chewers are everywhere! I hate them! Plus it looks like local scavs have set up shop. Push through here and find me a console to plug into so I can find out what's ahead. And kill me some bugs while you're at it.


(Use console)

Felicity: I'd forgotten how fun exploring new systems can be! Right then. Past this building is the Stingray Factory Complex and, beyond that, the Bot Factory. It's a pretty straight shot. I should be able to get us past any locked gates. You can get us past any stupid people.


(Approach door)

Felicity: Another jammed door! Well, maybe it'll open if you give it a good pull.


(Open door)

Felicity: You might need to kill that!


(Continue through open space)

Felicity: Great, almost zero juice running through this place and the old turrets still work.

Felicity: That'll be me soon, won't it? A weapon. Again.


(Continue on)

Felicity: Ugh! For something so ugly, they sure do breed a lot.


(Approach entrance)

Felicity: This is the entrance to the Stingray Facility. Could you get me access to that gate console? I meant that rhetorically. I mean, "you need to."


(Use console)

Felicity: Uh, we've got a problem. The security system's being all fighty and feisty, soooo...

Felicity: Oops. Sorry! I'll work on opening the door, you deal with the turrets!

  • Athena (if present): Fine, but for a military grade AI that was sloppy.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Get it done. Whoever programmed you is an idiot.
  • Nisha (if present): And you're supposed to be Jack's fancy military AI? Great.
  • Claptrap (if present): Uh, sure! It's oddly comforting that you're as inept as I was!
  • Jack2 (if present): Great! And thanks for this.
  • Aurelia (if present): More than happy to.

Felicity: I've hacked the turrets so they only fire at torks! Should help a bit. I'll get this stubborn thing open... hopefully.

Jack: Hey kids! How's it going down there? Having fun? Keeping things on track with the whole robot army plan?

  • Athena (if present): We're a little behind schedule, but on top of the mission.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Nothing a lot of violence won't solve.
  • Nisha (if present): Hit a few bumps, but we're getting there.
  • Claptrap (if present): Everything's great, Mr. Jack! There's a lot of shooting going on, but I'm confident your robot army's as good as built!
  • Jack2 (if present): Yep, we're carving a path using the tried and tested system called violence.
  • Aurelia (if present): I care not a jot about your robot army, but I've gotten to kill oodles of things! That's been fun.

Jack: Peachy! I'll see you soon.


(Kill all torks)

Felicity: News flash, this door's being a huge pain in my digital arse. There's a jump pad nearby I can activate, let's use that to get in.

Felicity: It was probably put there by scavs who used pads like that to sneak in and out of Concordia.


(Use jump pad)

  • Athena (if present): Here goes nothing!
  • Wilhelm (if present): Geronimo!
  • Nisha (if present): Ha-hoooo!
  • Claptrap (if present): Bellissimmmoooooooo!
  • Jack2 (if present): Aaand nauseous again...
  • Aurelia (if present): Airborne AND fabulous!

Felicity: Charming! Looks like scavs have put up crude electric fields, presumably to keep out torks. Follow that cable, let's see if we can shut it down.


(Enter crawlspace)

Felicity: These cables must be connected to a master fuse box somewhere. Follow them! They should lead the way out.


(Reach fuse box)

Felicity: There's the master fuse box. Shitting it down should get us past this last electric field. Though, I suppose it'll probably shut down all the other fields as well -- so eyes peeled for torks.


(Turn off electric fields)

Shizz: Torks! How did they get in?!

Grizz: Ugh, they're bloody everywhere!

Claptrap (if present): I do beg your pardon.


(Approach gate)

Felicity: I might once have helped run a scav gang, but that didn't stop me finding these repulsive scraps of humanity disgusting. Each one you kill's making the universe a cleaner place.


(Get outside, laser fires)

Jack: Man, that thing's driving me nuts! We get it -- you've captured our huge scary laser! Gold star!


(Reach Stingray Factory Main Hall)

Gladstone: Hello! Uh, help?! I'm being held hostage in the main control room, just ahead of your current position! Any chance you could, you know, rescue me? The bloody scavs'll eat me when they realize I'm not what I say I am!


(Clear out scavs)

Gladstone: Aw, thanks so much! Feels like I've been trapped here forever. Come on over, I'll open up the door for you.


(Approach door)

Gladstone: I'll open the door!

Gladstone: Am I glad to see you! Here I was, doing some help-yourself exploring, working on a pet project I've been cooking up, when the scavs swept in, about to cut me up bad, when I persuaded them I'm a medic.

Gladstone: I AM a doctor, but more the "Hyperion R&D" kind.

  • Athena (if present): Jack, you know this guy?
  • Wilhelm (if present): Hey Jack -- that true?
  • Nisha (if present): So is that true, Jack?
  • Claptrap (if present): Can you verify this claim, Mr. Jack?
  • Jack2 (if present): Um, hey Jack? This guy for real?
  • Aurelia (if present): Is this true, Jack? Or shall I shoot him?

Jack: I don't recognize him. Yo, what's your name?

Gladstone: Ah, sorry, bruv. Gladstone Katoa, D Division. What brings you here?

Jack: Oh, D Division? That's where they hide all the brainiacs who work on all the super-secret awesome stuff, right?

Gladstone: Uh, I work on experimental tech -- the Division greenlit me using the resources here. Why are YOU here?

Jack: Well, Gladstone Katoa, I need to get back to Helios and retake the big-ass laser on it from a buncha freaky-looking Dahl military types -- and if we don't, the moon's going to go boom and take half of Pandora with it. You know. The usual.

Gladstone: Oh, man! I wondered what was going on! So, why are you here? Shouldn't you be somehwere more... space station-y?

Felicity: Jack wants to build a robot army driven by my AI, then retake Helios with it. I'm Felicity, by the way.

Gladstone: Oh... Gotcha. You're after my prototype. Well, it's not finished!

Jack: What? No, we're here to build robots. What prototype are you talking about?

Gladstone: Oh, right. I was working on an... off-the-books project, creating a master bot capable of digistructing an almost unlimited supply of other bots! My prototype's almost done, but the scavs stopped me from installing some key parts. Besides, I wouldn't want something that powerful to fall into their grimy hands.

Jack: This guy! This guy right here! Tell me more!

Gladstone: Yeah, bruv! We'll just need to finish putting the hardware together. After that, install a military-grade AI and POW! It should pump out combat-ready loaders!

Jack: Way ahead of you, man! What do you think ol' Felicity's here for?

Felicity: What? You want me inside some kind of "constructor" bot? That's not what I had in mind.

Jack: Ooh, "Constructor"! I like it! Nice! So, uh, tech dude -- this prototype can digistruct combat loaders, right? Cause, to be honest, those powersuits seem kind of... lame.

Gladstone: Yeah, totally! But first you'll need to finish putting together the prototype. You'll need to get access to the main Bot Factory itself through the Transportation Gate. I'll monitor the systems from here.

Jack: All right! Go Team Robot Army!

Felicity: Do I not get a say in this?

Jack: Sure, yeah, whatever makes you happy, just -- make my loaders deadly.

Jack: By the way, last guy who double-crossed me's got nothing but a bunch of bullet holes and a stupid look on his face. Get me?

Gladstone: Why would I cross you, bruv? You're trying to save the moon, and you seem like a stand up guy! plus you're about to help me complete my life's work!


(Move through open area)

Gladstone: Hyperion just didn't have the resources on Helios for my project, and there was all this old Dahl tech just lying around. They gave me an escort team, but the scavs chewed them up pretty quick. I wonder if that's what happened to 'em. Anyway, then I was on my own. I knew they'd send a rescue party though -- never stopped hoping.

Jack: Uh, yeah, Hyperion didn't send us. I did.

Gladstone: But you're Hyperion! Oh bruv, they're the coolest company! Best three years of my life -- would never want to work for anyone else! You picked a winner here, Felicity!

Felicity: I don't want to count torks before they're hatched, but -- you know what, I think you're right.


(Approach Factory)

Gladstone: Robotics Factory up ahead! That's where I was working on my prototype before the scavs showed up and claimed the place.


(Approach gate to Production Plant)

Gladstone: Ha! Look at them go! Maybe you scared them off with your, uh, extremely scary Vault Hunter-ness!

Gladstone: Uhhh, apparently not. Uh, they've got a Dahl powersuit. Sorry, bruv.


(Kill powersuits)

Jack: Our combat loaders are gonna be WAY more kickass. Speaking of which, how's that goin'?


(Enter Robot Production Plant)

Jack: Finally here! So, this is the birth canal of my new robot army, huh?

Gladstone: Yeah, this is where I was doing most of my work before the scavs came and forced me to be their medic. We'll need to clear the area of them before getting to work.


(Clear out scavs)

Jack: Yeah, I don't know about this place. Kinda looks like a junkyard. Are you sure we can build something badass up in here?

Gladstone: Course, bruv! The scavs make it look WAY worse than it is. First thing we need to do is restore the main power. Head over to the breaker room and see what's what.


(Approach door)

Gladstone: Locked up. Hm. Let's see if we can get you in through the window. Let me see if I can get the cover down.

Scavs: Hey Vault Hunter! Piss off!

Gladstone: Those guys are rude! Looks like scavs have barricaded themselves inside. That security glass is vulnerable to cold, reckon you could freeze 'n' smash!

Scavs: Yeah! Piss off! Like... a lot! Hee-hee-hee!

Scavs: Whoa! Shrinkage, shrinkage!


(Kill scavs)

Gladstone: Okay, the main breaker should be in this room, just flip it on.


(Turn on power)

Gladstone: Oh, sorry. That electrified the water. At least this place has power now!

Jack: That, good people, is the sound of progress! One step closer to saving the world!

Gladstone: OK, let's get down to serious business now. The first thing we need to do is complete the eye part. That's the really clever bit. I already have the process set up, but we'll need the material from a few of the security bots. I was never able to get them myself.

Jack: Lemme guess -- all brains, no balls.

Gladstone: Heh, yeah, something like that. The little buggers pack quite a punch! Head back to the security office that looks over the main room, and call them in. Of course, that might attract more scavs too, so be prepared.


(Call in security bots)

Gladstone: That's them! You'll need to destroy them in order to get their eyes.


(Pick up first eye)

Gladstone: Great, that's the stuff. Get the rest!


(Pick up fourth eye)

Gladstone: Next up, head to the Oculus Lab. I'll walk you through the process. It should already be set up.


(Reaching Oculus Lab)

Gladstone: OK, just place the pieces in that converter over there. It'll melt down the raw materials and form the prototype eye.

Jack: An "eye converter"? that's the dumbest thing I've ever hear of! Why in the hell would they make an eye converter?

Gladstone: THEY didn't make it, I did! I was here for a long time preparing this lab for my prototype. This is highly sensitive, experimental technology!

Jack: Really? Because it looks like a toaster.


(Place eyes)

Gladstone: There it goes! All my hard work, finally paying off! We're seeing history in the making.

Gladstone: Oh, it's so beautiful! Okay -- now pick it up!

  • Athena (if present): Brand new weapon for a brand new war.
  • Wilhelm (if present): This is so friggin' hot.
  • Nisha (if present): That looks incredibly dangerous. I like it.
  • Claptrap (if present): Yeah! Science, BITCH!
  • Jack2 (if present): Ohhhhh, cooool.
  • Aurelia (if present): This looks deadly and expensive and I need one.

Gladstone: OK, now head back to the main room -- we need to plug that baby into the main torso.


(Reach torso cage)

Gladstone: Flip that latch and the cage should open.

  • Athena (if present): Is this what we're building?
  • Wilhelm (if present): We building that thing?
  • Nisha (if present): That's what we're building?
  • Claptrap (if present): Oh, recompile my hard drive! Is THIS what we're building?
  • Jack2 (if present): THIS is what we're building?
  • Aurelia (if present): Is THIS the robot in question?

Gladstone: Ugh, I was so close to finishing this when the scavs arrived. It'll pump out a lot of robots, enough to make the difference against Dahl, or whatever they are.

Jack: Ohhhh, it's, uh... looks kinda like a... dumpster wrapped in sadness. No offense.


(Install oculus)

Gladstone: This Constructor wil be able to digistruct highly complex machines at an unsurpassed rate! Now that's done, we need to mount the torso onto the crane system.


(Use console)

Gladstone: Aw, bruv -- this is really happening! It's working! My old professor said I'd never amount to anything, but she was wrong! And now look at me!

Felicity: You want me inside that thing?

Felicity: I've been wondering about this installation. You know, you could just copy me. It takes a little longer, but it's the same thing and I'd find it much less terrifying.

Jack: Exactly how much less terrifying?

Felicity: It's the difference between brain surgery and being scanned.

Jack: Hmmmmmm. Let me think about it.


(Reach Assembly Hangar)

Gladstone: That's good! That's good! Now we need to attach the turrets, then the legs.


(Reach shooting range)

Gladstone: The turrets just need to be calibrated.

Felicity: I can help prepare the targeting systems.

Gladstone: Oh, that's OK, thanks. I've got a faster way to do that.


(If Vault Hunter kills Scavs)

Gladstone: Don't kill the scavs, just soften them up a little -- then let the turrets work their magic.

Gladstone: How bloodthirsty are you? The turrets need to get the kills, not you.

Gladstone: No! Don't kill the scavs! The turrets need to finish them off, or they won't calibrate.


(After turrets kill 4 Scavs)

Gladstone: Turrets now at fifty percent accuracy. Getting there -- I swear, bruv!


(After turrets kill 8 Scavs)

Gladstone: Targeting calibrations almost finished, just a few more, uh, readings to go!


(After turrets kill 12 Scavs)

Gladstone: Oh yeah! Job done! I'll get these to the main area -- return there too!


(Attach turrets)

Gladstone: We're so nearly there! Feels like Mercenary Day!

Felicity: So this is going to be my new home, huh? Not sure I want to move in.

Gladstone: Right, the legs are in the other lab. They're still attached to an experimental version of the Dahl powersuit, so you'll need to separate them, and get 'em into the crane system.

Felicity: How about I take over the powersuit, then walk the legs to where they can be assembled? Wouldn't that be easier?

Gladstone: Hey, that's not a bad idea! I didn't even think of that! It'll be a nice warm-up for you!


(Reach powersuit)

Felicity: Okay -- plug me in.


(Use console)

Felicity: This body feels strange... arms, legs... is this what it's like to be human? This is the worst.

Jack: Alright, let's see what you can do.


(Fighting way back)

Felicity: Oh my, I'm getting blood everywhere!

Felicity: I didn't enjoy doing that!

Felicity: Incoming powersuits!

Jack: Not bad, buttercup. You turned all those scavs into puddles.

Felicity: I did, didn't I... Everything's lost, like tears in a puddle.

Felicity: They just attack me on sight! Don't humans ever try TALKING to each other?

Felicity: Oh, I hope he didn't have a family!

Felicity: Sorry!

Felicity: I feel... dirty.

Felicity: This is what you do for a living?!


(Reach crane)

Felicity: Okay, I'm ready to detonate. Stand back!

Gladstone: Perfect, Felicity! Vault Huner, can you use the controls to lower the torso onto the legs?


(Use console)

Jack: Yeah, this is gonna get awesome.

Jack: It got awesome.

Felicity: It's a brute, isn't it?

Gladstone: Construction's complete. Finally! The shell just needs to go through testing in the diagnostics chamber. We'll be able to install the AI core -- Felicity -- there!

Felicity: You know, Jack, I really didn't enjoy killing those scavs. Maybe this is all a mistake.

Jack: I don't like killing either, babe.

Gladstone: Looks like we need to rotate the rails around. Head into that office and use the controls to get things moving again.


(Use console)

Gladstone: OK, looks like the prototype is on its way to the testing chamber. Head on over there, so we can install our AI.

Jack: Okey-dokey! Tickety-tock, let's do this!


(Approach Unit Embarkation)

Felicity: Wait, WAIT! I don't want to have my memory wiped, I don't WANT to turn into -- look, can't you just put a COPY of me into the Constructor?

Jack: Exactly how long will it take to copy you?

Felicity: Couple of days, at the absolute most!

Jack: Uh-uh. Too long. Zarpedon will have popped the moon like a zit by then. Look, I'm real sorry, kiddo -- this is the only way.

Jack: Vault Hunter -- do it!

  • Athena (if present): Sorry, Felicity. The moon can't wait.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Installing.
  • Nisha (if present): Sucks to be you. See ya.
  • Claptrap (if present): I can only IMAGINE the horror of being totally wiped and being made into an unthinking machine of war!
  • Jack2 (if present): Erm, I guess it's for the best...
  • Aurelia (if present): I... don't feel particularly enthused about this.


(Install Felicity)

Felicity: No! Please!

Jack: Keep the military stuff, anything that can help us in a fight. Trash the rest.

Gladstone: Felicity, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Felicity: I can hear myself dying, I can -- no! Stop it! No, no, NO!


(Cutscene)

Felicity: If hate is all you want, THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL GET!

(Title card: Felicity Rampant -- If only Elpis had more time)

(End Cutscene)


Jack: What, what? She's still in there? Look, we need that thing INTACT. Disable it, but DON'T destroy it!


(Bring Felicity Rampant down to 45%)

Gladstone: That's good! Now disable it!

Felicity: You think that will stop me? You're all just scavs to me now! And now you unleash my true potential!


(Fighting Felicity Rampant)

Jack: Gladstone, gimme a full memory reboot! I want that thing SANE and I want it BADASS!

Gladstone: Sir, yes sir!

Jack: GLADSTONE!

Gladstone: Sir, yes sir!

Jack: That's what I'm talking about! Look at this broad go!

Jack: Okay, that's cool, but why are they attacking us? Gladstone?!

Gladstone: I'm trying! I'm trying! But the AI is fighting me. We'll have to fully disable it before I can gain control!

Felicity: I can't -- I can't -- I c-can't -- I'll k-kill you I'LL KILL YOU KILLLLLLLLLLL


(Defeat Felicity Rampant)

Jack: Wow, that was tough. Well, at least it looked tough. Whatever, good work. Now, let's see what this puppy can pump out. Gladstone, make me some friggin' robots!

Constructor: Ready for construction.

Jack: Okay, okay, not bad. But you know what? Appearances DO matter. They need a little more... je ne sais quoi. Let's go with Hyperion Yellow.

Gladstone: Yes, sir.

Jack: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! Awesome.

Gladstone: Should I go ahead and start creating more?

Jack: Yeah, you bet your ass! You know what? Come to think of it, other stuff needs a kick in the pants too. Lemme get that down... "Think up awesome new names and colors for Hyperion weapons."

Jack: Alright, I think we're good to go -- come back to Moxxi's, we'll get you geared up and ready for the big fight.


(Turn in)

Jack: Hmm. Here's where it gets fun.

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