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Marooned/Transcript

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Springs: Deadlift leads a band of scavengers -- scavs -- who used to raid the old Dahl dig site. Colonel Zarpedon imprisoned them, but they escaped when Dahl's digging cracked the moon.

  • Athena (if present): Zarpedon?
  • Wilhelm (if present): Wait, her name's Zarpedon?
  • Nisha (if present): Did you say Zarpedon?
  • Claptrap (if present): Zarpedon? Was her dad a kaiju or something?
  • Jack2 (if present): I'm sorry -- "Zarpedon"?
  • Aurelia (if present): "Zarpedon"? That's appalling.

Springs: Anyway, he's got the digistruct key for my Zoomy stations. Killing him will get you into Concordia and make my week. Win-win!


(On way to Regolith Range)

  • Athena (if present): Why are we killing Deadlift, again?
  • Wilhelm (if present): So why's this Deadlift guy gotta die?
  • Nisha (if present): What's the story on this Deadlift dude? Why ya want him dead?
  • Claptrap (if present): My sense of post-murder guilt would be lessened if I knew WHY you want me to kill Deadlift!
  • Jack2 (if present): I don't think you ever told me why you want Deadlift killed.
  • Aurelia (if present): Now why am I shuffling this Deadlift chap off his mortal coil?

Springs: He's kind of a dick.

  • Athena (if present): ... Is there anything else, or...
  • Wilhelm (if present): Heh, alright.
  • Nisha (if present): ... That it?
  • Claptrap (if present): ... Is that all?
  • Jack2 (if present): Oh, okay. I'm sorry, wait, what?
  • Aurelia (if present): Ah. Lovely.

Springs: Well, he also stole my Moon Zoomy digistruct key, stranded me out here, and got really rude when I told him I wasn't into guys. But mainly the being-a-dick thing.

Zarpedon: Vault Hunter. This is Colonel Zarpedon.

  • Athena (if present): (snicker) Sorry.
  • Wilhelm (if present): (snicker)
  • Nisha (if present): (snicker)
  • Claptrap (if present): (snicker)
  • Jack2 (if present): Hee-hee!
  • Aurelia (if present): Oh, good lord.

Zarpedon: You must leave Elpis. Things are about to get much worse -- I don't WANT to kill you if I don't have to.

  • Athena (if present): Tell that to the people you murdered on Helios.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Nah. Got paid to kill you. Gonna do it.
  • Nisha (if present): That's too bad. Cause I bet I'll really enjoy killing you.
  • Claptrap (if present): Sorry, madam, but my orders are clear: you have commited crimes against Hyperion, and must be brought to justice!
  • Jack2 (if present): Really? Cause you've already, like, killed a WHOLE bunch of people.
  • Aurelia (if present): Darling, I'm simply going to kill you for fun. It's not personal, I just bore easily.

Zarpedon: Fine. Do what you will.

Zarpedon: Deadlift, this is Colonel Zarpedon. I need you to kill the Vault Hunters headed for your ship.

Deadlift: GET BENT, ZARP! I AIN'T TAKIN' ORDERS FROM THE CHICK WHO THREW ME IN PRISON!

Zarpedon: They said your jump pads are stupid.

Deadlift: I WILL ANNIHILATE THEM!


(Enter Dead Drop in Regolith Range)

Deadlift: RRRRGH! DO I SPY MERCENARIES APPROACHING ME SHIP?! I WILL SOAR INTO THE AIR AND CRUSH YOU WITH A BUTT-SLAM!

Deadlift: HIGH-BROW!


(Normal Mode)

Brick: Heh. I like this guy.

(End Normal Mode)


(True Vault Hunter Mode)

Brick: This dude's awesome.

Tiny Tina: You boys and your cool spacesuits and your muscles. You think you're strong? I can take you. TICKLE ATTACK!

Brick: Haha, c'mon Tina. Now stop! Stop -- Tina! Tina, stop it! STOP IT, TINA!

Tiny Tina: I WILL OBLITERATE YOUUUUUU!

(End True Vault Hunter Mode)


(Approach jump pad)

Springs: Deadlift uses that jump pad as his front door. You might wanna do the same.

Deadlift: I DISABLED THE JUMP PAD! FORGIVE ME, JUMP PAD -- I DIDN'T MEAN IT!

Springs: Crap. Better head up to that geothermal substation, see what the damage is.

Deadlift: DON'T LET THOSE HOITY-TOITY HYPERION GOONS TAKE ONE ORE STEP!


(Thrown Breaker)

Springs: Why didn't that work? Oh -- fuse is busted. Got an idea, though: you could be the fuse!

  • Athena (if present): Sorry?
  • Wilhelm (if present): Do what now?
  • Nisha (if present): Huh?
  • Claptrap (if present): Elaborate!
  • Jack2 (if present): What?
  • Aurelia (if present): Beg your pardon?

Springs: If you complete the circuit between those two live wires, it should reactivate the jump pad. Just stand between the two sparky bits.

  • Athena (if present): That sounds unsafe.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Sounds dangerous.
  • Nisha (if present): Sounds painful. Hehehe.
  • Claptrap (if present): Uhhhh, is that going to hurt?
  • Jack2 (if present): That gonna burn me or anything?
  • Aurelia (if present): Oh, apologies -- you've confused me for someone who DOESN'T hire people to experience pain for her. That sounds uncomfortable.

Springs: Yep! Gonna hurt lots.


(Complete Circuit)

Springs: Right. Now just go kill the guy so you can get to Concordia.

Deadlift: WHY ARE THOSE HYPERION SCREWBAGS STILL ALIVE?!


(Use Jump Pad)

(Normal Mode)

Mordecai: You got to ride jump pads?

Brick: I never got to ride a jump pad.

Athena: I also witnessed the deaths of many innocent people.

Brick: But... jump pads, though.

(End Normal Mode)


(True Vault Hunter Mode)

Tiny Tina: Weeee that looks fun! I wanna ride a jump pad.

Brick: Ain't any around here, but I can throw you real far though.

Tiny Tina: Do it do it do it DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT.

(End True Vault Hunter Mode)


(Cutscene)

Deadlift: DEADLIFT TIIIIIIME!

(Title card: Deadlift -- The Boss Fight Has Landed)

(End Cutscene)

Springs: There he is! Just kill his dumb ass and I can get you closer to Concordia and finding that jamming signal.

Deadlift: I CAN'T WAIT TO THROW YOUR CORPSE ONTO A JUMP PAD AND WATCH IT TAKE TO THE AIR LIKE A... CHILD'S IMAGINATION!

Deadlift: THOSE VAULT HUNTERS DIE TODAY, OR MY NAME ISN'T BUCEPHALUS DEADLIFT MCELROY!


(Kill Deadlift)

Deadlift: MY ASPIRATIONS...

Springs: Now find the digistruct key. Must be somewhere around here.


(Open toilet)

Springs: Bonza! Am I glad to see that! Pick it up!


(Pick up key)

Springs: Now you've got the digistruct key, you can turn on one a' my Moon Zoomies at the Dahl Waystation. Get yourself there, but be careful -- scavs have taken over that place after the Crackening.


(Exit building)

Springs: Those oxygen geysers will refill your Oz kit! Just step into one and take a deeeep whiff.


(Enter Kraggon Pass)

Springs: Elpis was an old Dahl colony way back -- but then the Crackening happened. Lava erupting everywhere had them buggering off pretty quick. They left whole factories here to rot -- equipment just lying around... After a few years the first fleet arrived -- it wasn't the first one here, but that's what they called it. People started living here again. Maybe living's an overstatement -- but people are here. Amongst everything else.

Springs: No one really knows why the Crackening happened. But most people you run into will say Dahl caused it -- extracting minerals or something, I dunno. I guess stories don't have to be true to be believed -- they just have to be told. And I tell that one a lot.


(Approach Dahl Waystation)

Scav: Get over here so we can avenge Deadlift and his sick-ass spacesuit!


(Jumping the gap)

Scav: Ah, crap, I didn't think you'd actually come!


(Insert key)

Moon Zoomy: Access denied.

Springs: Ignore that. Just smack it.


(Melee station)

Moon Zoomy: Nevermind!

Springs: Good on ya. Now just get a vehicle and come on back. If you wanna kill some kraggons while you're out there, I'm looking to make some corpse jewelry out of 'em.


(Enter car)

Springs: Make sure to stop by -- I got something that'll get you into Concordia. Maybe you can find your signal there and get back to your ruddy huge space station.


(On way to gate)

Jack: Hey, you survived! That was me high-fiving myself. They're looking for me, so I gotta go radio silent -- find the jamming signal, shut it down, and return to Helios.


(Approaching gate to Serenity's Waste)

  • Springs (to Athena): Athena, did you really take down the entire Atlas corporation?
  • Springs (to Wilhelm): Wilhelm, what are you doing on the outer planets? I thought you made all your money doing security work on the inner worlds.
  • Springs (to Nisha): Nisha, I heard you robbed six bandit camps and a convent. That true?
  • Springs (to Claptrap): Claptrap, what's up with your gear? Steward bots shouldn't be able to wield guns.
  • Springs (to Jack2): What's a low-level Hyperion employee doing making body doubles of himself?
  • Springs (to Aurelia): What brings you to the moon?
  • Athena (if present): I had help. Wonder where they are now...
  • Wilhelm (if present): I may have failed to protect a president from being blown up. Or, wait, no. Orphanage. I meant to say orphanage.
  • Nisha (if present): In my defense, those nuns were dicks.
  • Claptrap (if present): My name is Fragtrap! After the robolution, Jack turned me into a soldier! Apart from the fact I've lost my sense of self, and no longer value human life, it's totally AWESOME!
  • Jack2 (if present): He's got big dreams. And I've got student loans.
  • Aurelia (if present): Well, I was jogging through my turbomansion, horribly bored, and it occured to me that killing hundreds of living things might be amusing! Et voilà!


(Returning to Springs)

Springs: Good to see ya! Here, take this. It's an Orbatron -- it'll get you into Concordia.

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