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Paint Job/Transcript

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(Accept mission)

Nakayama: It's been FOREVER and I still haven't gotten a reply from Jack. Maybe he needs to know I'm for realz. Ooh, ooh! Go find some paint and give it to a claptrap unit. I have an idea!

(Approach servicing station)

Nakayama: There should be some paint in the claptrap servicing station.

(Pick up paint)

Nakayama: Great! Now give that paint to a claptrap and ask it to draw an image of my adoration -- a testament to the man who brought me here! Yellow's his favorite color, and appearances matter so if everything's yellow he'll love me!

(Enter Jack's Office)

Nakayama: Find a claptrap near Jack's office! After the robot makes the painting, Jack will walk by it EVERY DAY!

(Meet Worker CL4P-TP)

Worker CL4P-TP: Look at these schmucks, willing away their digital lives at a computer. HA! Thank the Almighty Robot Policeman I'm not stuck at a desk like THESE jokers!

Nakayama: That one! He's not busy! He can create my MASTERPIECE!

(Talk to Worker CL4P-TP)

  • Athena (if present): Uhhh... Nakayama wants you to draw something that shows how much he likes Jack.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Some scientist wants to diddle Jack. Wants you to draw somethin' romantic or... somethin'.
  • Nisha (if present): Egghead's got a thing for Jack, for obvious reasons. Need you to draw something that'll get him to second base with the big man.
  • Claptrap (if present): Think you could draw something that shows the depths to which Nakayama would go to impress Jack!
  • Jack2 (if present): Uhhh, just... draw Jack lookin' pretty or somethin'. This is all... REALLY weird to me.
  • Aurelia (if present): Hello! Draw a picture of Jack so that an incredibly awkward romance may blossom.

Worker CL4P-TP: Awww! I wanted to dance!

(Give paint)

Worker CL4P-TP: Who knew I could paint as well as I could dance?

Jack: What the hell is that claptrap painting? It looks like a skag dry-humping a vending machine! Nice color, though. I'll get it washed off later.

Nakayama: Rrgh, he doesn't understand! Let's send him some flowers -- go find a few I've planted around the station.

(Pick up 1 flower)

Nakayama: I planted these flowers myself. My doctorate's actually in horticulture, I just pretended to be a geneticist so Jack would hire me. Ugh, I love him so hard -- What? I didn't say anything. What?

(Pick up 2nd flower)

Nakayama: Mmm... blood orchids. They symbolize death, and permanence, and... open-mouth kissing.

(Pick up 3rd flower)

Nakayama: Alright! That's all of the flowers we'll need. Just leave them outside of Jack's office!

(Plant flowers)

Nakayama: Wonderful! He'll HAVE to acknowledge those. He can't miss them! He'll finally notice me!

Hyperion: Fire hazard. Flowers blocking entrance to office. Please immolate flowers to prevent fire hazard.

Nakayama: What? No...

(Burn flowers)

Nakayama: NOOOOOOOO!

Jack: Alright, who the hell's been defacing my station? Show yourself!

Nakayama: It's me, sir! Professor Nakayama. I'm the gene--

Jack: --Yeahyeah. Don't care. You're pissing me off with youw weird hijinx, Nakytama. Cut it out or I'll have you forcefed into a weapon grinder. Friggin' jackass.

Nakayama: Did you hear that? He almost pronounced my name correctly! That means he pretty much LOVES me! Come on back! WE DID IT!

(Turn in)

Nakayama: I DID IT! Jack and I will be together FOREVER! AHAHAHA!

  • Athena (if present): You have my pity.
  • Wilhelm (if present): You're weird, dude.
  • Nisha (if present): Man, it is really gonna break your heart when I hit that.
  • Claptrap (if present): Man, what a loser! And that means a lot coming from ME.
  • Jack2 (if present): H'okay, walking away now, in fear for my life…
  • Aurelia (if present): Oh, he's an absolute buffoon. Breaks the heart. Almost.

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