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Pop Racing/Transcript

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(Talk to Napykins)

-ONE OF-

Napykins Lunestalker: I've got a job needs doing, but I bet it's too brill for the likes of you!

Napykins Lunestalker: Wanna race? I'm your man -- boy!

Napykins Lunestalker: Hey, Loser-Features! Want a mission?!


(Accept mission)

Napykins Lunestalker: Who are you? (snort) Going to try and break my record, eh? Good luck! I meant that sarcastically! You should look that word up! Nobody can handle pop racing better than the Lunestalker! (snort)

  • Athena (if present): Well. We'll see, won't we?
  • Wilhelm (if present): We shall see, tiny annoying child.
  • Nisha (if present): You gut gunk coming out your nose, kid.
  • Claptrap (if present): Orrrr, to look at it another way: YOU SUCK, AND I'M BETTER!
  • Jack2 (if present): That's a lotta trousers for a little man.
  • Aurelia (if present): Oh, how I wish your parents had valued contraception.

Napykins Lunestalker: (snort) Whatev. I'm the best, end of! Get yourself a moon buggy and prove me wrong!

Springs: Ah, found that snot-nosed brat, did you? I'd love to see you wipe the floor with him! So would everyone else who's ever met him. Head over to the start line -- let's see what you can do.

Springs: The countdown will begin once you're at the start line. Kick it in the guts soon as the beacons light up. Beat the kid's lap time and rub the grub's face in it!

Napykins Lunestalker: Uh, LAME! You can't catch the Lunestalker! (snort)

Springs: Check that. If you also beat him on the first go at it, I'll give you even more credits. Show the little darling who's boss.


(Get to starting line)

Napykins Lunestalker: (snort) Initiating countdown.

Springs (if starting line is left): Blimey! I can hear my hair growing waiting for you to start.

Napykins Lunestalker: Fiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvveee...

Napykins Lunestalker: Four threetwo.

Napykins Lunestalker (only on first attempt): Two and a half ... two and a quarter, haha!

Napykins Lunestalker: And then.... one-go!

Springs: And they're off!


(Pass waypoint 2)

Napykins Lunestalker: I can hear my amazing skill pumping through my veins. Oh no! What happens if I'm so skill I explode?! (snort)


(Pass waypoint 5)

Napykins Lunestalker: Hey Springs, did your driver forget which pedal to press? (snort)

Springs: Come on! Let's give the kid something to think about!


(Pass waypoint 9)

Napykins Lunestalker: Ohhhhh! I'm sitting on the edge of my bucket seat! (snort)


(If fail to complete in time)

Springs: Ruddy hell! I've known rocks with more driving aptitude -- try again, you dropkick!

Napykins Lunestalker: Ha ha! You've just been called a dropkick! You're a dropkick! You're a dropkick!

(End If fail to complete in time)


(Pass finish line)

Napykins Lunestalker: You cheated! And I wasn't feeling well! And then I got something in my eye! And I couldn't see properly! And someone distracted me and it's not FAIR!

Springs (if passed at first attempt): Ha! Suck eggs, Napykins, you just got beat first time! Vault Hunter, you can collect your winnings from the darling little angel himself.

Springs (if passed at further attempt): Ha! Suck eggs, Napykins, you just got beat! Vault Hunter, you can collect your winnings from the darling little angel himself.


(Turn in)

  • Napykins Lunestalker (about Athena): Dad! A super-cool woman with an awesome sword just totally cheated me out of the course record!
  • Napykins Lunestalker (about Wilhelm): Dad! A big, scary metal man just totally cheated me out of the course record!
  • Napykins Lunestalker (about Nisha): Dad! A mean-looking woman just totally cheated me out of the course record!
  • Napykins Lunestalker (about Claptrap): Dad! Some dumb military claptrap unit just totally cheated me out of the course record!
  • Napykins Lunestalker (about Jack2): DAAAAD! An unrealistically handsome man just totally cheated me out of the course record!
  • Napykins Lunestalker (about Aurelia): Dad! Some Vault Hunter just totally cheated me out of the course record!

Lunestalker Sr.: VAULT HUNTER! I'm calling you out! Make my little boy cry, will you?! You couldn't let him win? I'm gonna smash you flatter than a hubcap!

Springs: Uh oh! Lunestalker Senior is not exactly a huggable yesseroo at the best of times. I should have seen this coming!

Lunestalker Sr.: Picking on a little kid! Are you proud of yourself, Vault Hunter?

Napykins Lunestalker: Do it, Dad! (sniff) Punish the stinky Vault Hunter for cheating!

Lunestalker Sr.: I'm gonna rip out your guts, and let little Napykins decorate his room with 'em!


(Kill Lunestalker Sr.)

Napykins Lunestalker: Daddy gone sleepy-bye-bo-bos!

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