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Tassiter: Vault Hunters. Some of Zarpedon's information runners have evidence I can use to get your employer fired once this fiasco is over. I need you to get that evidence for me.
- Athena (if present): No.
- Wilhelm (if present): Hell no.
- Nisha (if present): Nah. I kinda like Jack.
- Claptrap (if present): NO! I would never betray the man who gave me the ability to climb stairs!
- Jack2 (if present): What?! No, idiot! If Jack's out of a job, I got all this plastic surgery for nothing! No.
- Aurelia (if present): Petty betrayal sounds rather beneath me.
- Tassiter (to Athena): You'll do it, or I'll kill whichever members of your family Atlas didn't already force you to murder.
- Tassiter (to Wilhelm): I'll give you more cybernetic enhancements than you can imagine once this is all over. You won't know where the man ends and the machine begins.
- Tassiter (to Nisha): I'll give you a full pardon for your criminal offenses, as well as a considerable sum of cash.
- Tassiter (to Claptrap): I'll be your best friend.
- Tassiter (to Jack2): I'll undo the plastic surgery and give you your identity back -- plus an extra million, to keep your mouth shut.
- Tassiter (to Aurelia): You'll do it, or your children will die.
- Athena (if present): Fine.
- Wilhelm (if present): Alright, that sounds pretty awesome.
- Nisha (if present): Hunh. Yeah, alright. But only because I'm sure Jack's gonna kick your ass outta Hyperion anyway.
- Claptrap (if present): I'LL DO IT!
- Jack2 (if present): Okay. You have my attention.
- Aurelia (if present): Paha! I don't have any children, but I admire your gusto. Oh, what the hell, let's do it.
Tassiter: Then we're decided. There should be a Dahl courier nearby. Find him, kill him, and take the evidence he was going to archive. You can tell couriers apart by their bright red armor.
Tassiter: There -- a courier. Kill him.
Dahl Soldier: NO! He had so much to give to the world!
(Pick up ECHO)
Zarpedon (on ECHO): Hyperion's set up an orbital space station surrounding Elpis. The lead engineer, a man named Jack, has convinced his superiors that Pandora is a gold mine. How does he know? Must investigate further.
Tassiter: Perfect! That's just what I need to convince the board to get rid of Jack. Find me more ECHOs just like that.
Dahl Soldier: Jack's Vault Hunters are targeting the couriers! I need more armor and better weapons on these guys, now!
(Approach second courier)
Tassiter: There's a courier in that power loader! Kill him!
Courier: Sir, I'm not powersuit certified, I don't know how to--
Dahl Infantry 4: --Dammit, soldier, it's self-explanatory. Just put your thumbs on these sticks. Rotate the right one to look around, the left one to move!
Courier: ... Like this?
Dahl Infantry 4: No, you just drained your shields! This is so simple, what's your problem?
Courier: This is really complicated! And you wonder why more people don't use these things. But yeah, I think I got the hang of it!
Dahl Soldier: NOOOO! That was one of our last couriers!
(Pick up ECHO)
Zarpedon (on ECHO): We've captured a surveying crew from Helios. Something will have to be done. It is clear that this man is well-funded, determined, and worst of all, ambitious.
Tassiter: She forgot "douchey." Still need more, keep at it.
Dahl Soldier: All couriers: if you see one of Jack's Vault Hunters, immediately report to a saferoom and await reinforcements!
Tassiter: "Saferooms"? I don't have time for that crap. Kill the couriers quick, before they can run into someplace defended.
(Approach third courier)
Courier: Leave me alone, I'm just an info courier!
Courier: It's Jack's Vault Hunters! RUN!
'Courier: You won't chase me down!
Tassiter: Dammit! Can you not listen to even simple instructions?! You'll have to find a way in there so you can get his ECHO recorder.
Courier: Oh, COME ON!
Tassiter: Great. Now grab the last ECHO.
(Pick up ECHO)
Zarpedon: We've discovered a weapon aboard Helios -- a laser of unimaginable power. Because of Hyperion's greed, because of their ignorance -- we will do what needs to be done. Tonight, we take Helios. Pandora's moon will fall.
Tassiter: Great! Get to the bounty board and upload what you found. Once this is all over, Jack'll be lucky to get outta Hyperion with anything less than a sucking chest wound.
- Athena (if present): These aren't very incriminating.
- Wilhelm (if present): These don't seem all that bad.
- Nisha (if present): Man, these audio logs are pretty dull.
- Claptrap (if present): I do not believe there is any incriminating evidence within these audio logs!
- Jack2 (if present): Was that stuff supposed to be incriminating? It seemed kind of dull.
- Aurelia (if present): If you consider boredom incriminating, then these logs should DEFINITELY suffice.
Tassiter: Shut up, what do you know? Bring them back.
Tassiter: Bye bye Jack. Your days are numbered.