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Return of Captain Chef/Transcript

< Return of Captain Chef

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(Accept mission)

Captain Chef: I say! Lend a chap a hand, will you? I'm Captain Chef, and I've just discovered this moon! It's imperative I lay claim to it before anyone else does!

Captain Chef: Oh. You look oddly familiar. Anyway, I brought the flag -- King Greg adores it when you plant a flag -- but royal protocol requires me to stand to attention and salute while it's being raised. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to manage it. So, if you can just hoist the thing for me, I'll stand here and King Greg gets himself another colony! He is especially partial to colonies!

Captain Chef: Do get my flag for me, will you? There's a good sort.

(Retrieve flag)

Captain Chef: The flagpole's just over here. I should warn you, these Johnny Foreigner types can be a little sensitive when you discover them.

(Place flag)

Captain Chef: That's it! Now start hoisting as I salute! Don't be shy! Hoist away!

(Hoist flag)

Captain Chef: There she is -- in all her glory! I just have to stand to attention and salute until she reaches the top.

Captain Chef: Brrp-brrp-brrp-brp -- oh, on the off-chance any of the locals should --

Captain Chef: --Ah, yes, It does seem something of a theme. Be a sport, will you and fight them off until the flag's raised? Soon as she's there I'm right with you side-by-side in the trenches! Brrp-brrp-brrp-brrrrrp, brp-brrp brlrbrrrrrp...

Captain Chef: Brrp-brrp-brrp-brrrrrrrp, brrp-brrlrp brp-brp brrrrrp...

Captain Chef: Brrp, brlrbrrrp brrp-brrp, brrp, brrrrrrrrp...

(Kill 5 attackers; one of:)

Captain Chef: Goodness, what is wrong with these ruffians! Looks like a full-blown dispatch is the order of the day!

Captain Chef: Oh, this is rather off! Clear these rotters off, will you! This is just the kind of thing that makes King Greg's gout flare up -- unwelcome guests when we're in the middle of acquiring a new fine colony!

(Mechanism stuck)

Captain Chef: Ah, the blasted thing's stuck! Be a good sort and give the colors another hoist, would you?

Captain Chef: Brrp-brrp-brrp-brrrrrrrp, brrp brrp brp-brp-brrrrrp...

(Chef tires)

Captain Chef: Excellent stuff! This is when it gets... very... hard, to keep... one's arm... in... the... correct... position... and one's salute can... begin... to... wilt! Need... help!

Captain Chef: Broom! Get my... broom! Must maintain... salute!

Captain Chef: What the devil's the matter with you?! Slovenly soldier... This is a matter of the deepest import!

(Pick up broom)

Captain Chef: That's good! Now... place it... place it now!

(Place broom)

Captain Chef: Wonderful salute assistance. I believe YOU may be a natural!

(Mechanism stuck)

Captain Chef: Good Greg! Blasted foreign technology. Would you mind awfully doing the honors?

Captain Chef: Brrp-brrp-brrp-brrrrrrrp, brrp brrp brp-brp-brrrrrp...

Captain Chef: Brrp, brlrbrrrp brrp-brrp, brrp, brrrrrrrrp...

(Kill 15 attackers)

Captain Chef: That's the stuff! You'd think these locals would get the message, wouldn't you? Of course, one does sort of admire their pluck!

Captain Chef: Well, I say good riddance to bad rubbish! You know, this could be an ideal spot for a snick-it pitch!

(Flag hoisted)

(Remove broom)

Captain Chef: Well, that's a blessed relief! Even my prodigious salute muscles were beginning to quiver beneath the titanic strain! Oh, you seem to have made rather a mess. Not to worry, these things tend to clear themselves up in the end.

(Turn in)

Captain Chef: Well, mustn't loiter -- there are plenty of other undiscovered places eager to be civilized! Cheerio!

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