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Statuesque/Transcript

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Claptrap: Every good war is won in the mind. So long as Jack's got those propagan-tastic statues of himself around Opportunity, we can't truly win this war. Go, minion! Blast those statues to bits!

Claptrap: The statues are bulletproof?! You win this round, inanimate object! Minion, I need you to search the Opportunity drop zone for a deactivated constructor. Then you can use it to cut through the statues for you!

Claptrap: Cool, you found a constructor! Just boot him back up and he oughta treat you as an ally. You'll be like his mommy! His gun-toting, profanity spewing mommy.

Claptrap: He's waking up? Great! Trust the Vault Hunter, robot.

Claptrap: Alright, the constructor's working again! Make sure to protect it while it's wreckin' the statues.

Constructor: Initializing laser cutter.

Handsome Jack: Aw, what are you doing now, tool? Petty vandalism? Are you serious? That's how far you've fallen? It's just sad.

Handsome Jack: Alright! You made your point. You don't like the statue, I get it! I look a little too badass with my foot in that bandit's face, right? You're jealous, I get it.

Constructor: Cutting operation complete.

Handsome Jack: Does that feel good? You got it out of your system? Great. Now go home and stop screwin' with my stuff, or we're gonna have a frickin' problem.

Constructor: Initializing laser cutter.

Handsome Jack: Hey, you know what book I'm reading there? It's called, '101 Ways to Forcibly Make Vandals Eat Their Own Entrails'. I'll let you borrow it sometime.

Constructor: Cutting operation complete.

Handsome Jack: I can actually see why you'd wanna tear that particular statue down. Clearly, you're illiterate, and the image of me enjoying a good book just makes your head hurt somethin' awful.

Constructor: Initializing laser cutter.

Handsome Jack: Oh come ON! What's wrong with that statue? I'm holding the Vault Key and a BABY. You know what babies are, right? Those little soft pink things your kind eats after you're done rolling around in your own feces? Ring a bell?

Constructor: Cutting operation complete.

Handsome Jack: Oh, for the LOVE of - okay. Great. Success. You're pissing me off. Good for you! Here's your prize!

Constructor: Initializing laser cutter.

Handsome Jack: What is this even ACCOMPLISHING?! Are you trying to piss me off? Was that your goal? Well mission accomplished, jaggoff. Y'know, when I'm curbstomping your dumb ass to death, you can take solace in the fact that, one time, for like, eight seconds, you mildly irritated me. Good for you. Your parents must be so proud.

Constructor: Cutting operation complete.

Handsome Jack: Yeah - no - go ahead. Knock that last one down. I've already got a great idea for a new statue. It's just gonna be me - kicking you - in the junk. I'm gonna commission like fifteen of those sumbitches and put 'em everywhere!

Claptrap: Now that you're done with that bot, it's time for some fun! You ever seen a Constructor bot dance, minion? Cause you're about to! Hit the other button to activate his dancing subroutines!

Claptrap: Three - two - one - DANCE TIME!

Constructor: Commencing dance protocols - error! ERROR!

Claptrap: Oh. He, uh, just exploded, didn't he? I guess that's kinda like dancing.

Handsome Jack: You are such a jackass.

Claptrap: Success! Opportunity will be temporarily free of Jack statues, FOREVER!

Damage to Constructor

  • Claptrap: The constructor has been damaged!
  • Claptrap: Protect the bot, minion!
  • Claptrap (constructor has 50% health): The bot is half dead!
  • Claptrap (constructor has 25% health): Oh God! The bot's only got a quarter of its health left!

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