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The Psychology of a Claptrap/Transcript

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Handsome Jack: Woahwoahwoah, where's this, uh... Override Key, thing?

Claptrap's Consciousness: It's in the, uh... the... oh, I know it, I know it! In the... uh...

5H4D0W-TP: In Memory Bank 4, Cluster 99002 OV3RLOOK.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Was about to say that! Oh uh, that old place? There won't be anything there, I guarantee it.

Handsome Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah, zip it -- my gut says scary prison dude here's telling the truth. Plus, he's... not you.

5H4D0W-TP: First, you'll need to reach the relevant data stream point I've marked on your ECHO.

  • Athena (if present): He sounds like the voice in the projections. That was him, right? In the Fyrestone memory?
  • Wilhelm (if present): Was that the same voice from the Fyrestone memory cluster?
  • Nisha (if present): Sounded mighty like the voice in the Fyrestone projections, don'tcha think?
  • Claptrap (if present): Heyyy! Is this the voice we heard mixed in with those Fyrestone projections?
  • Jack2 (if present): Is that that guy who voiced those projections in that memory with the bridge pieces?
  • Aurelia (if present): Wasn't his the voice I heard in the projections on our Fyrestone jaunt?

5H4D0W-TP: Guilty as charged. I am a helpful soul... and now our interests align. I can aid you. I can project the forms of others, but can't leave my cell.

Handsome Jack: Sure. You get out, and I get my H-Source -- and all the cool stuff inside. It's a win-win!


(Travel to Motherlessboard)

Handsome Jack: Okay, get the Override Key so we can open up Quarantine and get the H-Source. Then I can crack it open and take whatever I want. I should really keep this a surprise, but I already know the very first thing I'm gonna do when I open it. Wait till you see the look on stupid little Claptrap's face... boy is that eye of his going to blink like crazy! Oh -- hurry it up!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Guys?! There's nothing in there! It's really not worth going to that place!


(Reach data stream)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Aww, shoot! I just realized, the datastream you need is totally broken -- looks like this plan's a bust!

5H4D0W-TP: Oh, really? Analyzing. I already have a solution. Get to the stream's power generator, Vault Hunter -- it will let you re-calibrate it. Updating your ECHO.

Handsome Jack: Works for me!


(Reach access hatch)

5H4D0W-TP: Open that access port. It leads to the checkpoint's exterior, and from there, to the power regulator.

Claptrap's Consciousness: This seems like a lot of trouble to get to one totally unimportant memory cluster!


(Reach power generator)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Yikes! An Authority Wall! No way past these bad-boys -- looks like it's back to the ol' drawing board!

5H4D0W-TP: So quick to surrender, eh, Claptrap? Authority Walls are strong, but all defenses have a weakness. All viruses love to feed off the energy of these barriers. All that keeps them at bay is the local anti-virus system. Stomp the system's resistors, and those rapacious, swarming vermin will devour that Authority Wall in moments.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Releasing viruses... that's such a cool idea!


(Disable first node)

5H4D0W-TP: That's it! Stomp the second resistor!


(Disable second node)

5H4D0W-TP: Here they come! You must WOUND them, Vault Hunter! WOUND them and lure them to the wall.

5H4D0W-TP: That's it! Wound them! Force them to hunger for the wall's energy!


(First virus feeds)

5H4D0W-TP: See how they feed on the wall? Excellent!


(Second virus feeds)

5H4D0W-TP: Just a few more -- the wall cannot withstand much more!


(Wall depleted)

5H4D0W-TP: The wall is depleted. Now throw the re-calibration switch, and the data stream will be fully functional once more.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Yaaay.


(Use console)

Handsome Jack: Phew! What'd I miss? Lightning HR meeting there -- had to let a LOTTA people go. Outta airlocks mostly. Oh-ho-ho, nice! Alright, haul ass to the Recall Station and we can load the right cluster and get us an Override Key!


(Enter Cluster 99002 OV3RLOOK)

Handsome Jack: Alright, looks like the same deal -- wade through some weird stuff until we load the right memory.


(Use console)

Handsome Jack: Bingo! First time! The crappy little hovel of Overlook -- ohhhh wait, this is where Blake held that Vault Hunter competition for me. Yeah, that was a frickin' disaster -- no wonder the memory's listed as suppressed. Alright, go get that Override Key.

5H4D0W-TP: The Override Key emits a signal. I'm uploading its location to your ECHO.

5H4D0W-TP: The people of Overlook will view you as Claptrap.

Claptrap's Consciousness: This was where I lived after Jack kicked me out. He said my VaultHunter.EXE was a total failure.


(Enter Overlook)

  • Athena (if present): This place feels off.
  • Wilhelm (if present): These people are nuts.
  • Nisha (if present): Something's up.
  • Claptrap (if present): Oh, boy! These guys LOVE me!
  • Jack2 (if present): Yeah, something is, uh... seriously wrong here.
  • Aurelia (if present): This place is doolally tap!


(Approach Arena)

VH Factor Door Lady: Sold out! No VH Factor tickets left! The arena is full! Go away! It's already started! Go waitch it on Pay-Per-Glimpse!

(Reach Override Key)

Handsome Jack: Oh, that's just... fantastic. The Override Key's stuck inside -- oh, wait... what the hell's that?

5H4D0W-TP: Analyzing.

5H4D0W-TP: Interesting. The Key is lodged in a frozen memory. To release it, you must defrag the cluster and, where blocked, relive moments leading up to this epic duel.

Handsome Jack: Okay -- sooo, we cut through all the BS cluttering up the place to get the Override Key. Like where this is going!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Okay, okayokayokayokay, look -- we're all friends here. Let's just leave things right where they are and go somewhere else. Oooh, let's go to a beach!

5H4D0W-TP: First, destroy the banners. They are false. Reveal the true nature of the celebrations.


(Destroy first banner)

Handsome Jack: Fantastic! Glitches!

Claptrap's Consciousness: SORRY!


(Destroy fourth banner)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Uh, so, uh... this is my heartfelt plea. Please, can you leave now?

  • Athena (if present): I'm doing this for Springs. We need the money.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Ha! I work for Jack, not you.
  • Nisha (if present): I work for Jack. And I ALWAYS mix business with pleasure.
  • Claptrap (if present): I've kinda got a conflict of interest here, 'cause I'm programmed to obey Jack!
  • Jack2 (if present): Oh, sure, yeah -- No. I work for Jack.
  • Aurelia (if present): A heartfelt plea indeed, and one it thrills me to ignore. I work for Jack.
  • Handsome Jack (to everyone except Athena): I'm sorry, I don't know who that is! I know who HANDSOME Jack is, though!


(Destroy last banner)

Handsome Jack: Okay, so, now what?

5H4D0W-TP: With the false memories removed, the system should now reinitialize itself.

Hyperion: Memory reconfiguration detected. Rebooting.

5H4D0W-TP: This will hurt.

  • Athena (if present): Ahhh!
  • Wilhelm (if present): Ahhh!
  • Nisha (if present): Ahhh! Hahaha!
  • Claptrap (if present): Ahhh!
  • Jack2 (if present): Ahhh-ha-ha-ha-hooowch!
  • Aurelia (if present): Ahhh!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Ohhhh! I remember this! Okay, so today I just came to help Dave with the tournament's half-time entertainment! And by the way, I remember that everything went SUPER SMOOTHLY, so uh, let's hit that beach I mentioned before!

5H4D0W-TP: So go see Dave. He will view you as Claptrap, and ask you to perform a task. Let us enact the memory, and witness the carnage inadvertently loosed by this unit.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Aww, PLEASE don't go see Dave!


(Reenter Overlook)

Claptrap's Consciousness: Figures -- I try to escape Vault Hunting and end up in a town with a tournament to become one!

5H4D0W-TP: This unit's "Insecurity Forces" are working to ensure the truth remains obscured here.


(Talk to Dave)

Dave: Heyyyy, Claptrap! Here to help put out the fireworks for the half-time show? Good. They're out at Gubbins Shack, in the green box. I'll update your ECHO with the location -- I've gotta conversate with Karima about catering, heh! Prob'ly about sandwiches, or something fancy. Oh -- and don't take the red ones, unless you wanna blow the lid off this place!


(On way to Gubbins Shack)

5H4D0W-TP: Be warned. This unit has unwittingly created a denial subroutine to overwrite events in a childish attempt to obscure the truth -- even from itself.


(Approach shack)

Denial Subroutine: No, no, no!

Handsome Jack: I dunno what THAT is, but tentacles are never a good sign!

5H4D0W-TP: The memory's denial subroutine is trying to stop us. Slam the shack back into place. That should clear the path inside and further correct this memory.

Claptrap's Consciousness: I've never seen those tentacles before in my life!


(Slam shack)

Denial Subroutine: NOOOOOO!


(Attempt to pick up fireworks)

  • Athena (if present): Something's wrong. I can't pick it up.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Uh, what the hell? Dumb box is broken.
  • Nisha (if present): Huh. I can't pick this up.
  • Claptrap (if present): My pick-things-up subroutine seems to be malfunctioning.
  • Jack2 (if present): This stupid box doesn't want to be picked up!
  • Aurelia (if present): What the blazes? Why can't I pick this infernal thing up?

5H4D0W-TP: Because this unit didn't take the fireworks.


(Pick up explosives)

Claptrap's Consciousness: So -- just to explain -- I used the explosives instead 'cause I thought they'd have waaaay bigger explosions! And they did!

5H4D0W-TP: Take the "fireworks" and position them in the locations I've marked on your ECHO.

Handsome Jack: Yeah. Reconstruct it. Do what that idiot did.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Seriously? I'm right here!

  • Athena (if present): You do appear to have been rather foolish, though.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Like I care.
  • Nisha (if present): He's right. You're a total idiot!
  • Claptrap (if present): I am losing patience with me.
  • Jack2 (if present): Can't argue with the man -- you are DEFINITELY an idiot!
  • Aurelia (if present): In fairness, your imbecility seems utterly irrefutable.


(Returning to Overlook)

(One of:)

Hyperion: Attention, system components: if we concentrate hard enough, maybe we can render all intruders figments of our imagination.

Hyperion: Alert! System compromised!

Hyperion: Alert. Unrecognized data in the system.

Hyperion: The system has been inflitrated. All protocols activate murder, mayhem, and manslaughter subroutines.

Hyperion: Attention, all intruders: please prepare for extermination. Thank you for your cooperation.

Hyperion: All foreign entities are requested to kill themselves at this time. Thank you for your compliance.

Hyperion: Warning! System integrity has been compromised. Even more than normal!


(Re-enter Overlook)

5H4D0W-TP: Someone's getting desperate... pulling in memories from another cluster to stop us from getting what we're here for.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Yeah! What a jerk!


(Place "fireworks")

Mr. Blake: Overlook -- and subscribers of PayPerGlimpse TV -- what a great VH Factor this has been so far! For the half-time show, we have Pandora's biggest band, The Totally Doomed... so, are you ready?! Readiness is sponsored by Hyperion.

Torgue: WHAT THE F**K IS THIS? I PAID FOR MONSTER BUGGY LINGERIE WARS -- NOT SOME SISSY VH FACTOR CRAP!

Mr. Blake: Then I give you... The Totally Doomed! -- Fireworks, now!

Claptrap's Consciousness: It was SO cool! They let me push the button for the half-time show's fireworks -- for when the band came on!


(Stalling)

Mr. Blake: I said: then I give you, The Totally Doomed! -- Where are those blasted fireworks?


(Start "fireworks")

Sid Nasty: Hey, everyone! We're the Totally Doo-- woah, ahhh, AAAAAAGGGHH!

Claptrap's Consciousness: So what I learned was: explosives REALLY are not the same as fireworks.

Mr. Blake: Uh... can we get a medic? The arena seems to have... fallen off the cliff. With all the competitors in it. And the band. And the audience.

Torgue: I WAS TOTALLY WRONG! THAT HALF-TIME SHOW WAS AN AWESOME WORK OF EXPLOSIVE GENIUS!

5H4D0W-TP: Once again, this event should result in the memories reconfiguring.

Hyperion: Memory reconfiguration detected. Rebooting.

5H4D0W-TP: This will definitely hurt.

  • Athena (if present): Ahhh!
  • Wilhelm (if present): Ahhh!
  • Nisha (if present): Ahhh!
  • Claptrap (if present): Ahhh!
  • Jack2 (if present): Ahhhhhhhowowow!
  • Aurelia (if present): Ahhh!

5H4D0W-TP: We're close now. One more memory to enact.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Uhhhh, there's REALLY nothing else here to see...

5H4D0W-TP: Embrace the truth, my friend. It is the only way you will grow. Vault Hunter, speak with the townswoman known as Karima.


(Talk to Karima)

Karima: After the "fireworks" everything's a m-mess, but we salvaged some medical supplies and m-made the church the triage center -- the c-competitors are recovering there. Could you run this m-medicine over to my husband? I know you didn't m-mean to hurt the competitors last night. Maybe you could show them your heart's in the right p-p-place, even if your brain is n-not.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Wow -- I smashed Overlook up pretty bad, didn't I?

5H4D0W-TP: You accrue the scorn and hatred of others with every instruction cycle of your CPU. Do not shy from it, SEE it! It is your truth!

Claptrap's Consciousness: Not EVERY cycle! I bet there's a lot of indifference in there too!

  • Athena (if present): I want to think you're right about that...
  • Wilhelm (if present): Nah -- it's hate.
  • Nisha (if present): Less than you think.
  • Claptrap (if present): Yeah! I mean, even I'M indifferent to you for a start!
  • Jack2 (if present): Y'know, uh -- No, I hate you. It's definitely hatred.
  • Aurelia (if present): Oh, no, darling -- it really is abject hatred.


(Cross gap towards church)

(One of:)

Hyperion: Attention, system components: if we concentrate hard enough, maybe we can render all intruders figments of our imagination.

Hyperion: Alert! System compromised!

Hyperion: Alert. Unrecognized data in the system.

Hyperion: The system has been inflitrated. All protocols activate murder, mayhem, and manslaughter subroutines.

Hyperion: Attention, all intruders: please prepare for extermination. Thank you for your cooperation.

Hyperion: All foreign entities are requested to kill themselves at this time. Thank you for your compliance.

Hyperion: Warning! System integrity has been compromised. Even more than normal!


(Talk to Danny)

Danny: Claptrap?! Just put the supplies down on the cart inside -- before you screw up anything else!

  • Athena (if present): He -- I mean, I -- didn't mean to hurt those people.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Yup, I'm Claptrap and I'm a total idiot! HAH!
  • Nisha (if present): Yeah, I totally murderized all those helpless people!
  • Claptrap (if present): I-I really DIDN'T mean it!
  • Jack2 (if present): Wow, get this guy! All judgy 'n' stuff.
  • Aurelia (if present): Oh, how wonderful, darling -- you really think I'm him!


(Talk to medic)

Female Medic: How can you show that hideous face?! Is it even a face?!

Male Medic: I've got NOTHING to say t... no, you know what? Why am I even talking to you?


(Place medecine)

  • Athena (if present): What the...
  • Wilhelm (if present): HA!
  • Nisha (if present): Classic!
  • Claptrap (if present): Oh no!
  • Jack2 (if present): Think I'm hungry for... I wanna say pasta.
  • Aurelia (if present): Calamity!

Torgue: THAT CLAPTRAP UNIT'S EITHER AS DUMB AS A SKAG, OR A HOT-DOGGIN' INCENDIARY GENIUS! EITHER WAY, HE'S WORTH THE RIDICULOUSLY OVERPRICED SUBSCRIPTION!

Hyperion: Memory reconfiguration detected. Rebooting.

  • Athena (if present): Ahhh!
  • Wilhelm (if present): Ahhh!
  • Nisha (if present): Ahhh!
  • Claptrap (if present): Ahhhhhhh!
  • Jack2 (if present): Owwwwwwowowowow! OWW!
  • Aurelia (if present): Ahhh!

5H4D0W-TP: So this resulted in the death of all other competitors. Apart from Donk, the latecomer.

Claptrap's Consciousness: Okay, so I accidentally burned down the church. But which one of us here can say we HAVEN'T?

  • Athena (if present): Me! ... Not counting that time.
  • Wilhelm (if present): Me?
  • Nisha (if present): Eh, fair enough.
  • Claptrap (if present): This is confusing for me. I think the right answer is... not me.
  • Jack2 (if present): Yeah, hear you on that one.
  • Aurelia (if present): Never by accident!

Mr. Blake: The tournament decider, the fight for the fourth Vault Hunter berth... it's, ah... a latecomer... and a stand-in.

Torgue: THIS IS THE MISMATCH OF THE DAMN CENTURY! I'M ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT! I SHOULDA GOT DRESSED O.T.B.T.W.!


(Approach Override Key)

(Cutscene)

Mr. Blake: It's Donk... versus Claptrap!

(Title Card: Donk from the moon vs CL4P-TP the Fragtrap) -- STAND-IN -- LATE)

(Claptrap activates his rubber ducky and donk bounces backwards into the grinder. A large CENSORED sign appears over the carnage)

Donk: Blergh!

Handsome Jack: There it is! The Override Key!

(The key is snatched by a tentacle from the ground. A huge digital thresher bursts out.)

(Title Card: Denial Subroutine -- (No it's not))

(End Cutscene)

5H4D0W-TP: There. The memory's denial subroutine is forced into the open!

Denial Subroutine: No. I'm. NOT!

Handsome Jack: What the hell?! Get after it!

Torgue: L.M.A.O.! THAT WAS TOTALLY AWESOME! GIVES ME AN IDEA! I'LL HAVE MY OWN, EVEN BADASSERER COMPETITION! W.E.G.! LATER!


(During battle with Denial Subroutine)

Denial Subroutine: I didn't kill those people!

Denial Subroutine: I've never had a problem being picked for teams!

Denial Subroutine: No! I don't just deny everything!

Denial Subroutine: I've never denied anything!


(Deplete Denial Subroutine's shield)

  • Athena (if present): Give me the Key!
  • Wilhelm (if present): Key! Give!
  • Nisha (if present): Gimme the Key!
  • Claptrap (if present): I REALLY need that Key!
  • Jack2 (if present): Oh, just gimme the goddamn Key already!
  • Aurelia (if present): The Key, if you'd be so kind.

Denial Subroutine: No!


(Defeat Denial Subroutine)

Denial Subroutine: I'M NOT DYIIIIIIING!


(Pick up Override Key)

Claptrap's Consciousness: The truth about Overlook is... maybe I wasn't as loved as I thought.

Handsome Jack: Yeah, WHATEVER! You've got the Override Key! Get back to Quarantine, let's open it up! Go Team Us! Me mostly. But also you. A little.

5H4D0W-TP: Yes -- return to me.


(Return to Overlook)

Phil: You've ruined Overlook!

Allison: You'd better get out of here!

Sonia: I have to start cleaning up YOUR mess!

Ruth: I lost everyone I loved because of you.

Matt: You really screwed things up here.

Drew: You... IDIOT.


(Return to the Nexus)

Handsome Jack: Use the Override Key and let's get what we came for!


(Use Override Key)

Hyperion: Override Key recognized. All restraints and locks: open.

M4D-TP: Ahhhh -- feels goooooood!

5H4D0W-TP: Well done.

M4D-TP: Pancake! PANCAAAAAKE! No pancake. No pancake.

5H4D0W-TP: I am 5H4D0W-TP! You know not what you have done! Come -- take the shiny!

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