Jack: So, YOU survived your little trip in the Moonshot Cannon, which got me to thinking -- what if we just used that thing to send everybody everywhere? That'd be freakin' sweet, right? I am gonna need more test data, though. One of Zarpedon's soldiers wants to defect to our side, so... why don't you convince HIM to go for a ride in the Moonshot Cannon?
Jack: There's a lucky winner! Ask him if he'd be up for trying out a moonshot ride.
(Talk to soldier)
- Athena (if present): Would you like to be shot out of a cannon at several hundred miles per hour?
- Wilhelm (if present): Wanna get fired out of a big-ass gun? You'll prob'ly die!
- Nisha (if present): Feel like being blasted out of a space cannon with no protective gear?
- Claptrap (if present): Would YOU like the opportunity to scream through the skies at hundreds of miles per hour courtesy of the Helios Moonshot Cannon?
- Jack2 (if present): Hey, uh -- d'you wanna jump into a Moonshot Cannon and be fired at a planet?
- Aurelia (if present): Would you like to be fired out of a Moonshot Cannon? It's quite fun.
Defector: Uhh... no?
Jack: Alright, fair enough. I guess when you put it that way it does sound like a stupid-ass idea. Just... find a way to get him into the moonshot shell. I don't care how you do it.
- Athena (if present): Does this button do something?
- Wilhelm (if present): Let's press some buttons at random.
- Nisha (if present): Eeny, meeny, meiney...
- Claptrap (if present): Perhaps THIS button will do something!
- Jack2 (if present): Oh. Wonder what THIS does.
- Aurelia (if present): Push like so...
Defector: HOLY CRAP, PIZZA PARTY!
Jack: Aaand gotcha!
Defector: What the hell?! LET ME OUTTA HERE!
Jack: Now, just digistruct my experimental guidance system onto the shell. It'll override the default navigation and, uh, let me run some tests.
Jack: Alright, now follow the container upstairs, make sure nothing happens to it. Be careful that guidance thingy stays in one piece, or who knows where this thing'll end up.
Defector: You LIED to me! THIS PIZZA ISN'T EVEN REAL!
Defector: Nobody lies to me about pizza! NOBODY!
Defector: This is Private Ferro, requesting extraction at the moonshot facility! I have been captured by Jack's Vault Hunters!
Dahl Soldier: Vault Hunters?! All units, converge on that location!
Jack: Ah, crap. The little dork asked for help. Just protect the guidance system while the container gets loaded into the moonshot.
(While on conveyor)
Jack: Well, they're shooting the guidance system. No big deal if they break it, but, just so you know, the dude'll probably die. But, you know. Whatever.
Jack: Protect that guidance node!
Jack: They're hitting the guidance system.
Defector: Let me outta here! Is this how you treat your own troops?!
Defector: Once I get outta here, I'm gonna cram these digitized slices down your throat!
Defector: I don't wanna go to the moon! I friggin' hate the moon!
Defector: Somebody help me! Friggin' Vault Hunters are gonna shoot me out of a cannon!
Jack: The shell is loaded! Fire the moonshot!
Jack: Ahah, alright! Hey, guy? You make it? You alive? He's probably fine. Anyway Vault Hunters, I got a reward for you.
Jack: If you got time, feel free to check the moon's surface. See if the dude made it through.
(Enter landing place at Chunder's Hole in Triton Flats)
Jack: Hehehehehe, he died cause he liked pizza. Makes you think, though. Or something. I dunno, I just felt like saying something.
Jack: Actually, now that I think about it... maybe we should have used the robots.